22 Lessons from Unpacking in India

For those who need some context, I’ve just moved into a new house with all my old stuff, half of which needed to be re-assembled upon arrival. So here is what I’ve learned, and if you are wise, take heed my friend:

1. Plan way in advance
2. But be ready to improvise, life is not subject to your plans
3. Don’t believe the truck driver when he says he knows how to get to your place
4. Be sure to have an interpreter on hand
5. It helps to know people who know people
6. When offered help, don’t act polite, accept immediately
7. Except when its random people on the street, they just want lots of money
8. Work in teams: Un-loaders, carriers, un-packers and arrangers
9. Make sure there’s a lady around to make everyone tea (it helps if you’ve stocked up on clean water)
10. Take one step (or box) at a time
11. Practice hand signals before the time (for when you cant find the interpreter)
12. Practice building lots of puzzles before hand
• Make sure puzzle pieces are mixed with other puzzle  pieces
• Figure it out without looking at the picture on the box
• This will train your brain to handle the assembly of complicated furniture
13. Always keep a pocketknife in hand, it will become your best friend.
14. Your second best friend is toilet paper
15. Also don’t forget your friends: Mr Screwdriver, Mr Hammer, Mrs Broom and Mrs Snacks
16. When in doubt, turn item upside down and try again
17. If the glove fits, it doesn't necessarily mean it belongs there
18. Sometimes, you have to make the glove fit
19. If at first you fail, hammer harder
20. If failure persists, wait an hour and try again: by some mysterious magic, you will have an 80% more likely chance of success
21. It is possible to survive on a diet of cookies and tea (but not recommended for children and pregnant women)
22. Reward all your voluntary helpers with chocolates and thank you cards.

Now you too are ready for the extravagant adventure of setting up home in India. Follow this advice and success will only be a week or two, a couple of cuts and bruises, and a handful of headaches away!

Friendliness towards strangers…

So, we’re living in a village on the outskirts of Bangalore, and like any village in the world, the power cuts are frequent. One day it was so bad i went to town to work at a coffee shop; and seeing a bunch of bikes parked on the sidewalk i thought “do as the Indians do”, and I parked my bike on the sidewalk…only to find it had vanished an hour later. Short story even shorter, these guys tell me the cops impounded the bike and give me a ride to fetch it from them…no big deal really, but I’m left wondering…would i do this for some random Indian guy in South Africa? And then i wonder, how often do strangers help each other out? And then i think…well yeah, its because you get some weirdo's out there, you never know what they might be after…so i think…ok, then why don’t we at least greet strangers?

Shy? Insecure? Proud? Selfish? I really liked the private gym that I went to in Joburg, everybody greets even if you’ve never seen the person before in your life…but that’s it, we greet cause we’re all going to gym, we all have something in common…great. I let let this pride creep in, like, “yeah, i greet strangers”…if i go jogging and see another guy jogging we may nod and smile at each other…."YAY, I’m making a difference in the world! I'm not ignoring strangers!” Bleah…useless man. Why don’t we greet absolute strangers? Can’t even muster a quick ‘hi’? This is why thousands of people can walk around a mall and every single person can be alone.